ahhhh loooooooooovvvve!
...some of what im feeling right now...boys suck and they do nothing but complicate life...so that means im guessing that i still haven't found the right one because it shouldn't be like that...blah...ya heres what i think about that!!!
ok im really not that heartless...but anyways the most insane thing happened to me the other day when i was atf...and it was such a God thing...i was outside and kind of in a bad mood and just feeling let down and annoyed and ton of what i used to feel back when i was with my ex...but y'all know me...i was still in a good mood...anyways this guy in his 60's is passing by me and says helllo makes some small talk...i didn't feel like talking so i pulled my "my daddy's a pastor deal" because usually people judge me on that and think that i don't need to hear anything they have to say anyways...he started talking about his past relationships and i decided for once in my life just to listen...[crazy i know right] story goes on he was just telling me about girls he had been with and things that had been wrong...one of the relationships reminded me of me and jake the others reminded me of my little flings i guess you could say...then the last thing he said to me was "don't worry, you will find the right one" then he said well it was good talking to you and he walked away...
The timing on this was perfect! i always worry that im gonna be alone and in my life i have chosen the worst possible people or they go and change on me...as far as love goes...i haven't been loved by any boy or any man...its all been pretend and all revolved around the wrong things...my idea of what love is and what it is suppose to be has been me giving all of myself and losing myself and not getting anything in return and being walked all over...it ends...im done trying to make things work with anyone because it should never be that hard...the right person will come along...he will be a godly man, he will treat me how my daddy treats my mom or better...my family will love him and he will love my family and i his...if i don't have this then i don't want it...the world today has the wrong idea of love...its like we train for divorce...thats all relationships are anymore...IM DONE...seriously, im waiting and im trusting God and i will know when someone worth my time comes...because the right one will love God just as much as i do...this might sound lame to you and guess what i don't care because i will be happy no matter what =D
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