to jump or not to jump?

i have been writing blogs for the past 3 days now...huge blogs that i can't post because i don't truley know what i think...my mind is going crazy...and i don't know what to think yet so until then they will stay in my drafts and maybe never even known to you...im completley mind boggled right now i feel like im about to go jump off a builing with a parachute and just hope that the building is high enough...should i jump...it could be the most exciting ride of my life if its high enough if its not...it will probably be the death of me.

&*&^#^(!#$the end.*&$^%@&*(*

texas! eeeeek!

we'll take control of the world like its all we have to hold onto, and we'll be a dream...

we'll be a dream is my favorite song right now...EVER EVER EVER...until i find the next one...


dear texas i will be there in a week and 2 days eeek! =D



I am sooooo excited! my trip is going to be very interesting and the past few days have been interesting blow my mind...that's all im gonna say.=D???? ohhh boy.

=D some good advice from mister dr.seuss

"Be who are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr. Seuss

idk my bff JENNN

hey by the way people this is my best friend jen for life i love her and i call her boo! just so ya know she gets it doesn't judge me on all of my stupid decision i make she loves me for me and doesn't pretend, she is real to her core and i have been blessed to have her in my life! j lynnn! i love you boo!

happy girl gives good advice and an important secret to life =D haha

i am a happy girl, all i need is me and the sun shining down from HIM! =D

let me give you a piece of my mind and how i think for those of you who can't figure me out...here is the BIIIIG secret that i have been saying put very bluntly.



i learned a lot and i know what i want and if i don't get it then i will be single and honestly thats is ALLLLL i want right now...well this is a really long blog but let me tell you as of now...lauren arlana freakin hershberger is single...NEVER been happier about being single and i honestly don't really ever care if i am ever with anyone...the way i see it should be simple...im not looking for anything but a friend in a guy and if you want more than that then you are looking in the wrong place, if you can't be my friend and if your looking for somthing else then go away and go find some other girl who cares...don't get me wrong i care about people but listen to me and believe me when i say i want nothing more than a friendship and the only guy that will ever get a chance is someone that can be my best friend otherwise, FORGET IT...i don't care how sexy sweet are charming you are...you want me then you are kind of out of luck right now, i will never understand a guy caring so much about me or getting hurt by me after knowing me just a few months...in a few months you can't get to know someone you can be interested but you CAN NOT fall for someone that hard...if you do then i think that just means you are wanting a relationship more than you should and i am NOT your girl. im complicated i know it and i don't care...thats how i roll...its gonna take someone to come and completely blind side me and have that happy medium in life...and i need someone i can ALWAYS joke around with i can't tell you how many people have told me thats unrealistic i tell them i understnad there would be arguements or things like that, however...ALWAYS flirt with me joke and tease and have fun...im a kid at heart...i know when i need to be serious and when i don't need to be lets play and have fun and joke...people take life ALLLLL to seriously most of the time...thats just how i feel, ya its serious and we aren't meant to respect it...oh can i just tell you somthing i CAN"T stand...guys that call me baby or just want to be alll sweet and sensitive and quit taking the fun out of things right away...people rush into things tooo fast ALLLL the time...its good to be friends...how could you ever know if your suppose to be with someone if you can't be their friend helllo people...if you looking for love your looking for someone you could possibly spend your life with don't waste it on little flings and have to have a title other than a FRIENDSHIP....if people are to ever get married it needs to be with your best friend because thats who are stuck with after that would you like to be stuck with someone you love being with someone that you can grow with first in a friendship and then in love...that is the only way i think that love could ever exitst at all...a best friend people that means someone you have a million inside jokes with someone that just gets you...that is always ready for another adventure someone that lifts you up someone that you can be going against the world with almost its just like as long as you have that person nothing else really matters it should be simple most of the time you should argue its health then make up and admit you are wrong you should never want to hurt that person and always have their back even when no one else does, tell them when they are wrong and they tell you when you are wrong be cheezy silly laugh and cry share your secrets your soul your laughter alll of it, build it on somthing that matters not just because hey im getting older so i need to find someone so lets rush this along...NOOO that is not how it goes, love is easy once you find the right person that doesnt mean its perfect but its easy at first when it starts, it should be perfect and not complicated at all because there should be NOHTING and i mean NOTHING bet a friendship at first...flirting is ok with everyone...flirting is really just a special kind of attention we give out to single people out it makes people feel good flirting is using your charm on those people you care about really thats what it is, and flirting should never leave or a relationship will fail and just day out...its part of what keeps things fun even when things are rough...always charm those that you are around...its important...im just sayin but anyways im tired of typing sooooo peace

Love and Hate are never far apart.

How is it that the same thing that can make your life a rhapsody can also leave you gutted, like a dead fish wrapped in day-old newpaper?

love seems something like wanting a scar.

One thing i have learned in life the more you love somone the more capacity you have to come to hate them. and why, by the way, does it seem that half the time you didn't eve know you ere in love until you lost it? Is heartbreak the only way to know its the real deal? After all the only people who can hurt you deeply are the ones you allow to get deep inside your soul. That's what makes love so dangerous....and strange as it seems in the midst of our most painful memories we find our most treasured ones.

Even the scars of love rarely stop us from risking at love. We as a human body are addicted to love and it's out of control!

We are most alive wehen we find it, most devistated when we lose it, most empty when we give up on it, most inhumane when we betray it, and most passionate when we pursue it.

Have you ever wondered whether you are the one person who siply could not be loved or was somehow born unworthy of love?

A place where there is no love is toxic. A place where there is love is toxic...we are SCREWWED people.


People don't care about love like they should this world uses "love" up and so many people look for it in using people or having some type of intimacy with someone else.

There is no such thing as free sex. It always comes at a cost. With it, either you give your heart, or you give your soul. It seems you can have sex without giving love, but you cna't have sex without giving a part of yourself. When sex is an act of love, it is a gift, when sex is a substitute for love, it is a trap.

Love is not about how many people we have used,but about how much we have cherished one person. I've come to find over time that players are the ones who are most afraid. They are afraid to love, and so they make it a game. They're terrified of loving deeply and so they keep everything superficial.

Sound like anyone you know?



First time that i saw you,
lookin' like you did...
we were young we were restless,
just two clueless kids...

But if i knew then, what i know now,
I'd fall in love...

On a bus in Chicago,
three rows to the left...
you know my heart was racing for you,
but we never even met...

But if i knew then, what i know now,
I'd fall in love...

'Cuz love only comes,
once in awhile...
knocks on your door,
and throws you a smile...
takes every breathe,
leaves every scar...
it speaks to your soul,
and sings to your heart...

But if i knew then, what i know now,
id fall in love...

On a sunny night in August,
backseat of my car...
instead of tryin to get to know you,
i took it way too far...

But if i knew then, what i know now,
I'd fall in love...


Oh i used up alot of chances,
i cant get them back...
but if again it comes callin',
I'm gonna make it last...


But if i knew then, what i know now, id fall in love....