awwww helll...the choices of life!
im seriously contimplating between texas and chicago...
chicago pros...
i will be around no one i know and meet completley different people...it will make it harder for him and more of a fight so it would be even more clear if this whole thing with "him" is real or just a temporary thing...i would get to meet a whole set of new people...i would get to live the college experience...i will be right by a big city
chicago cons....
it's going to be freezing!! if i mess up there is no one to catch me...really, i know i will mess up im human hoe...umm lets see it will be a challenge but thats actually not a con because i like them my biggest complaint is the cold...oh and im not for sure about the whole job thing yet when i get there
texas pros...
some of my favorite people in the whole world are there such as margaritte and marcus...and him but right now thats almost a con...i would have independance from my family...it would be ohhh sooo warm!! i love the city life i love the hustle and bustle of things and i love the city lights! i have amazing connections as far as a job would and i would be out alll the time =] ohhh and AMAZING MEXICAN FOOD!
texas cons....
i don't know if being that close to him to soon would be a mistake...i don't want somthing to get started up to soon...i still need to see him fight...i would be really far away from my family...until i got married or got further in college i would always be low on money...not broke but just average enough to pay my bills and a little extra
i don't know i have a lot to think about...if anyone can think of anything on my list that i should add or not i think you should tell me and im willing to listen but when it comes down to it its my decision...however my mind i think is already made up...i don't know if i really am just super excited about it...but i just need to get my confirmation that im 100% right that its the right decision...world her i come!
anyways enough with all that babble now for some different ish crap...anyways...today my mind is changed...sometimes he is textin me like crazy and other times he is sooo off...the more off he is the more my mind is made up with my texas chicago choice...chicago is sounding smarter and smarter everyday...i know if i go there it will take longer than i ever wanted it to take for me to go back to texas...i would be ready to go now...but i want to be fought for...i don't think anyone can know how much i was hurt while i was getting over him...and now he is back in my life and i just don't really know...i need to be positive i need him to prove that i could trust him for forever and thats a long time and i have had over a year to put walls up...i want to see him climb and fight for me...i fought long and hard to be like this so someone is gonna have to fight long and hard to have me...im not gonna lie right now i hope its him...but that doesn't mean it won't change...but im stuborn and im diffent and i need a lot...i need someone that fits into my life and talks to me right...that has that happy balance that i have always loved except i have only met 1 person in my life that has balance...everyone else is a freakin trip...that just doesn't fit my personality...i need to be blind-sided and blown away...i need time...i want you to have everything you want and be just as happy so i have to fit in your life just the same...a girl knows if you are not happy and giving things up you don't want to give up...i want someone who is happy with who they are and their happiness fits with mine and they just want to share and make me part of that happiness... i want a freakin fairy-tale im not sayin somthing thats always perfect because i want to argue and then make up too...but what i want isnt' that crazy of an idea... i want somthing full of passion =D i get it what i want or forget it nukka! more later. bye you little hoeskis!
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